39. Cravings that keep you away from truth
What is it that keeps you far and away from reality, from truth, from the divine? They are four types of fears or cravings that bind you to the world. These are called aishanas, and they are: Putraishana, Vittaishana, Lokaishana and Jeevaishana.
Number one is Putraishana — always thinking about the progeny, attachment to the children. Tomorrow, when they grow up, and don’t have time for you, you are heartbroken. In reality, whose children are they? They are God’s children. You were just the doorway for them to come through. But people say, ‘‘Oh my children, my children’’. It gets you so feverish in your mind; it clogs your thinking so much that you don’t really see what is good for them. There are so many problems and suffering because of this aishana.
Then comes Vittaishana. Money. I know one old woman who used to say, ‘‘If somebody is sick in their head, give them lots of coins, they’ll go on counting, and the sickness will go away’’. Vittaishana is hunger for money. How much can you have? What do you want to do with it? Okay, let’s say you have 30 million dollars. What will you do with it? Are you going to enjoy thirty million in your lifetime? Money is essential but the craving for money in the mind can overshadow you and your life so totally that you will be unable to see the reality, recognise love, and see something beyond.
Vittaishana binds you. It is a book that keeps your mind in the bank. It gives you a false security. Billionaires were stranded in the Sahara desert for so many days, fighting like dogs over a loaf of bread and getting into a panic for a bottle of water. Haven’t you seen this? People who had all riches, they had to abandon everything and became paupers overnight.
The very big companies who have billions, they are in debt. Don’t you know this? Why worry so much about money? Have trust and say ‘‘Let what I need be provided’’ then work putting in one hundred percent into it, and see that whatever comes, it will come. And whatever has to be spent will be spent.
Then follows Lokaishana. You may not care so much about money. But what you care now is: ‘‘Oh, what will people think about me?’’ You want to be praised by everybody in the world. Wanting to be famous, wanting to be something. Wanting to do some work so that your name should be there for all generations to come, become immortal!
See, people who are very famous, what is happening to them? Does their fame remain the same all the time? Some other person becomes a little more famous, another singer, another actor, another dancer. That puts a lot of fire in them. They become jealous, and start criticising them.
And they become very unhappy! When you are in the peak of fame, and trying to maintain your fame, there is such fear, such uneasiness in you. You become so uncomfortable. This ‘wanting’ in order to be able to show off, for other people’s sake, for what others will say, is Lokaishana. Lokaishana can create fear in you and pull you down.
Then comes Jeevaishana, the fourth aishana: wanting to live longer! Wanting to become immortal physically. But why make the physical body immortal? Nature is providing you a fresh body again and again. When there are so many fresh apples growing, why to keep one apple, make it ancient, and then eat it?
Body is a perishable item. People who have not lived their lives fully, have this craving to live for more and more years. You see, very sick people, who are absolutely sick, they are not ready to die. They say, ‘‘I want to live few more years. I should see the end of this century’’. Jeevaishana, holding on to life. People who have incurable diseases, amputated limbs, don’t want to die. Hankering for life. What is its result? It does not allow you to enjoy the moment, to be free. And it creates a tension in life.
See, a healthy man will die, and a sick person will also die. A patient dies, a doctor dies. Every ‘body’ will die. It is an inevitable phase in life; it has a beginning and an end. It is going to happen and it will happen. That does not mean you don’t have to take care of your body. You should take absolute care of this body, but without feverishness, without this aishana.
When these four types of fear disappear, then you are qualified to come and sit close to the divine. Sit in Upanishad, and walk through the gates of Gurumandala. Upanishad means being there totally in the present moment. With the willingness to hear, observe. Ready to catch, ready to grasp the moment. Like a thirsty man, waiting for water. That waiting, that longing, that readiness brings the wandering mind closer. Then something happens, a phenomenon takes place.
Then you are qualified to hear about the Brahman. What is that ‘something’ beyond this world? What is the reality? What is the truth? What is the centre of all this? Then this secret, which is very sacred, will be revealed to you through the Gurumandala.
Gurumandala literally means drawing concentric circles. One inside another, triangles, squares, corners. Charming looking circles. The centre of it is the ‘Guru’. Around the Guru there will always be many attractive things, many talented people, different types of charms. And when you are going towards the centre, it is always possible that you could get stuck with the ‘aishanas’.
Simply sitting and saying ‘‘Who am I, Who am I?’’ will not lead you anywhere! But you have to cross over all these temptations, and come to the Gurumandala!
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